So, I’m just going to jump right in…
If you say that you’re drawn to the “crazy type”, I’m willing to bet you’re JUST as crazy, if not more so, than that “crazy guy” you’re dating or your “crazy wife” back home.
Sensitive subject, I know… Especially for the men who smugly believe that they are perfectly normal while women are totally “cray cray”….
So, who are Mr. and Mrs Right and what is the “perfect fit”…?
For whatever it’s worth here is my opinion on the matter.
You ever wonder why millionaires attract millionaires. ….or, more like why older millionaires attract younger gorgeous woman, often “the model,” successful bad-ass looking one? They’ve got nothing in common, right? …Wrong.
Most glamorous, successful women are very much like the millionaire-business man type. These women are tireless individuals who go through the work of surgical interventions, perfect nails, perfect dresses, painful heels, tireless gym work-outs, perfect make-up, and perfect hair every day, and they attract that perfect man who will keep up their high-maintenance lifestyle.
People call girls like this “lucky”. Luck has nothing to do with it. The fact is, these millionaire men look for their same level of drive and intensity in a woman – AKA the tigress.
Or what about the average stay-home mom who likes to be comfortable in flats, lose-fit floral print dresses and zero makeup with same looking hair every day. That type who just loves “being a mom” – often well-educated, indeed, but with a non-practicing degree cause she was in wedlock by age 25. Who are these types of women married to? Probably the safe guys.
The truth is, like attracts like. We are more likely to judge than embrace our opposites. Sometimes the similarities that attract are hard to appreciate. At one point or another, we’ve all badmouthed that great-looking bitch who we judge for being 15 years her husband’s junior. Or we judge the stay-at-home mom “lawyer” for not doing her make-up and for going out of her way to keep her husband content when, in fact, he’s just as boring and likes the peace and comfort she brings him.
People with OCD – the functional ones- have an uncontrollable need to control everything. While someone like this be really annoying to you; ironically, you might actually need them and their controlling personality to bring order to your life. People with OCD are perfectionists and usually successful for that very reason. They know that their constant pushing and nagging will get the job done right, no matter how crazy other people might say they are. Those same people, btw, often have suppressed better-halves – their deep-down chronic undiagnosed OCD/ADHD counterparts – who also get all their work done anyway. No need for treatment when you have one another to balance things out.
Facts are boring people like boring people. Weird people like weird people. Intense people are drawn to intensity and crazy attracts crazy. While opposites might attract on the surface, the charm wears off quick – about as long as a one-night stand. The lack of similar goals, passion and drive often results in a failed relationship. In the end, opposites attack.
So while opposites may attract, the relationship may be doomed. Why the attraction of opposites? Some literature research indicates that those who view an individual as having an unusual nature or an “opposite” quality are reacting to something they desire in that individual. A life they wish they had…
No doubt opposites attract. If you’re a laid-back person, you will definitely be curious about someone who is a bit crazy. But, People, please do yourself and your opposite a favor and look the other way. They are just not your type.
Why do relationships between opposites fail? It’s the cold hard truth that an ambitious successful woman will be bored as hell after one week with the 8-5- safe guy even if he holds a bad-ass degree. Facts are intensity is drawn to intensity. Comfort for these type of people who are totally successful individuals lies with uncertainty. Successful bad-ass woman do not like man who like to stay safe inside their comfort zone.
Oh, and by the way! The OCD “nut-case” won’t be able to stand the “stay-home mom” for much longer than a few hours. Finding someone who shares your “very own crazy” will actually balance the inner YOU.
Your perfect type is a like-minded person who will make you feel understood and safe enough to let them pull your own internal opposite to the surface! Yes, your soul mate will reflect you in many ways but some of their deep seeded tendencies may oppose you – in fact you may learn to love what you hate after you start to date!
So, whether you’re faced with the crazy model, the laid back stay-home wife, the gothic bad-ass bitch, the laid-back 8-5 husband, or the OCD doctor, know that your similarities rather than differences will give you the best chance for a lifelong soul mate. Each of them can also possess the wild Tiger/Tigress spirit who will grant you the fiery sexual desire fantasy that runs through your head when you see your opposite. To further clarify or confuse – opposites may not be so opposite at all, and like persons may be more dissimilar than you think. Every partner has their “crazy”.
By Esmie Gallemore – at my corner blog page